Ephesians: Destined to Win In Christ! Part 9 – Lawson and Aaron Perdue – 12/09/24

Hey, everyone. We’re getting ready to share some not-so-popular subjects, some things that are a little bit controversial from the scripture, but I believe that Father knows best. I believe that the word of God is always the truth, and you always get the answer. So, open up your heart and receive from God. We’re gonna be talking about walking Jesus out in relationships. Friends, it’s so good to have you with us. We’ve been sharing from the Book of Ephesians, and we’re actually talking about how we walk this life out. In the first three chapters of Ephesians, Paul talks about that we’re seated in heavenly places in Christ Jesus, who we are, what we have in Christ, that we’re blessed, that we’re chosen, that we’re holy, that we’re blameless, that we’re predestined to succeed, that we’re accepted, and beloved, forgiven for every sin, redeemed from every curse. But then in the fourth and fifth chapter, he talks about how we walk this out, where, and how do we walk it out? He says, “Walk worthy of the vocation where with your called.” He said, “Don’t walk as other unbelievers in the futility and the vanity and the empties of your mind. Renew your mind in the word, walk like a believer.” He says, “Walk in love, walk in the light, and walk like those of a covenant with God.” Walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time. But here, in the end of Ephesians chapter five, he begins to talk about where we walk this out. And the way that we walk this out or where we walk it out is through relationships

I like too how he talks about our position in Christ, who we are in Christ, our relationship with Jesus. It affects our relationship with other believers-

Lawson Uh-huh.

It’ll cause you to want to have fellowship with other believers, and also not to have fellowship with the world.

Right.

So it affects your relationship with the world. You want to distance yourself from certain aspects of the world.

Lawson Right.

You want to minister and shine the light, but you’re not gonna have that same fellowship, that close bond with, with the world and the ways of the world. It’s also gonna affect your home, your family,

Right.

You know, I like something you said, if it doesn’t work at home, don’t export it.

Right. I remember Dr. Lester Sumrall, and this lady in this church, she said, “Well, I feel like I’m called to be a missionary to India.” And she had like five kids and a husband. And he said, “Well, you better get all them little Indians at home saved in that big Jeep, and you can go to India.” So anyway, you know, it’s gotta start at home. And you know, Paul also writes about that in qualifications for leadership in ministry. And so he says here, right here in Ephesians 5:22, “Wife, submit yourselves unto your own husbands,” not everybody else’s, your own, “As unto the Lord.” And he begins to talk about this husband and wife relationship as relating to Christ and the church. He said, “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and he’s the savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject to Christ, let wives be to their own husbands, right?” You don’t have to be subject to everybody else’s husband, but to your own husband. And then he moves back and begins to talk about husbands loving their wives. So let’s talk a little bit about this word, submission. This doesn’t mean blind obedience.

Mm-hmm. Well, and again, we kind of talked about submitting to one another in verse 21.

Lawson Right.

Now, that means, you’re not always gonna have everything your way.

Lawson Right.

And also in, you know, and again, in the marriage relationship, you’re not always gonna have your way. You know, in the marriage relationship, you know, a husband and wife become one flesh, that means there’s a dying to the individual will.

Lawson Right.

You know, I’ve been married five and a half years now, but my life is very much different than when I was single.

Right.

I was 32 when I got married. You know, my life is very different, and it’s a lot better. I love my life, but it is different. And I don’t always get to have everything my way on my schedule, get to spend all the money how I want it spent. You know, I have other people that I’m concerned for-

Lawson Right.

That I care for, and I care about them because I care about God.

Lawson Right.

And I know God brought my wife and my children into my life. So because I care about God, I’m gonna care and love my wife and my children. And the same thing, you know, a wife should realize that you’re not always gonna have everything your way.

Lawson Mm-hmm.

But it always comes back down to your relationship with the Lord.

Right.

You know, and sometimes your husband might be wrong, but you know, and you won’t do anything that’s violating God’s word and His will-

Lawson Right.

But you’re gonna be okay if you think your husband might not be perfect because you’re ultimately trusting God.

Right, so basically, the way I look at submission is, you know, if I was submitting to someone, it’s just like, if I’m submitting to my employer. I’m gonna do what they ask me to do as long as it doesn’t cause me to disobey God.

Aaron Mm-hmm.

If it causes me to disobey God, then I’m not gonna do it.

Aaron Mm-hmm.

And I’m gonna do that respectfully, I’m gonna do that in honor, but I’ll give you an example. Years and years ago, I worked for Dr. Lester Sumrall when I was going to Bible school there. And I worked in the television department, and audio-visual department. And I worked how print and sound. I also made videotapes, made audiotapes. So this is years ago, way back. But in doing that, a person from another TV station, sent a video in because they would do other things, right? And it was of a country western singer, and they wanted to do this to make the department look good. My boss wanted to do it, ’cause if we did it, we’d make money, right? And our department would look good. But I personally, now, today, I might not have had a problem with it, but at that day, I was kind of legalistic. I had a problem with it, and I knew it’s something that Dr. Sumrall wouldn’t like, and he was the head of the ministry. So I told my boss, “If you do that and you make me do it, then I’m gonna take that video, and I’m gonna give it to Dr. Lester Sumrall.” And he knew Dr. Sumrall wouldn’t like it too. So he sent it back to the other TV station in another city, and said, “We’re not gonna do that.” And the reason, you know, I don’t know if he gave him a reason, but it violated my conscience at that time. So I didn’t want to do anything personally that would violate my conscience. Now, like I say today, you know what, I’m a lot more grace-oriented, that video might not have violated my conscience today. I don’t know, I was kind of legalistic then. But I know it wasn’t something Dr. Sumrall would like. So I just told him, “Hey, I’m not gonna do it. If you make me do it, then I’ll give a copy to Dr. Sumrall.” And he sent it back.

Well, yeah, in an employment situation, you’re representing your boss, the person that you work for-

Lawson Right.

The company that you work for. Likewise, in a church, you know, several years ago, someone who came out of our church, they moved to Alabama, a really great family. They were kind of having a hard time finding a grace church, a faith church that was very open about being spirit-filled. But they found an okay church.

Right.

And they said, “Well, maybe through a small group ministry, we’ll get people from the church, and we’ll talk about being baptized in the Holy Spirit.” And I said, “You can’t do that because if the head pastor wouldn’t talk about that, then you shouldn’t be doing that under his umbrella.”

Lawson Right.

I said, “You know, if you really like, you could start your own church, you know, get people. But don’t do it under his umbrella.”

Well, there’s enough Spirit-filled churches. You could find a spirit-filled church, you could be a part of that. You could, again, have your own Bible study, independent of that church, but don’t go in and try to subvert what they’re doing in their name.

Aaron Mm-hmm.

And we’ve had problems with that. But anyway, let’s go forward. He goes on, so he talks about wives submitting. So to me, submission means I’m gonna do that as long as it doesn’t cause me to disobey God. And it’s really talking more about a attitude of respect. Somebody can something in obedience and really not have an attitude or respect, right? They can be rebellious about it, but he says, “The husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church.” So Christ is not gonna have me do anything ungodly or sinful, right? So he says, “As the church is subject to Christ, let the wives be subject, again, to their own husbands.” So you may not like something that my wife wears or my wife does, but that’s not none of your business. That’s between her and God, and me and God, right? Because she’s my wife.

Well, even, I’ll just tell this to you. Several weeks ago, someone complained to me about something a female singer was wearing on our worship team.

Lawson Yeah.

I didn’t notice anything, but he thought her pants were too tight. And you know, I asked my wife what she thought, and she said, “It’s not a big deal.” And it wasn’t a big deal, but like, this guy didn’t really have authority to go tell this person, you need to change your attire.

Right, right.

And-

We’ve had this happen.

Yeah, that people sometimes like to get critical and-

Well, we had this happen one time, and the person that was complaining, both him and others in his family are about a good 100% overweight. They weigh about twice what they should, and they’re complaining about somebody because their jeans are a little bit tight. And to me, I didn’t even notice, right? And I notice things, but it was like crazy.

Aaron Mm-hmm.

So that, you know, if you’re double the weight you should be, you’ve either got a major physical problem going on, or you haven’t disciplined yourself in the realm of eating, right? And Jesus talks a little bit about gluttony, and the Bible talks about it. So, you know, it’s really easy to point the finger at somebody else, but usually when you point the finger at somebody else, you got three pointing back at you. So we gotta be guarding how judgmental and critical that we are. And we use need to use wisdom in these things, and clothing’s one of those things. But then he not only talks to wives, he talks about husbands. And he basically says here in verse 25, “Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her.” So when he says that, and there’s three ways that husbands are love their wives. Number one, spiritually, as Christ loved the church. Christ loved the church, when the church was making all the wrong choices and doing all the wrong things. He loved us when we were in sin. Christ died for us when we were yet sinners. So that’s how He loved us. So that’s how we need to love our wives. And I believe if husbands do the right thing, it’s gonna be a very rare occasion, when their wife won’t respond to that. And so then he goes on to say this. He says, “Not only that men ought to love their wives as their own bodies.” So we’re to provide for our wives, right? We take care of our own bodies, we ought to take care of our families and our wives. And then thirdly, he says, “Let the husband love his wife as himself.” And that’s talking about the soul, soul, the self. So that’s talking about communication. You need to be friends with your wife. So husbands love your wife spiritually, right, as Christ loved the church, that’s always be forgiving, right? Love your wife physically, you be the provider, and love your wife emotionally, seek to be your wife’s best friend. I believe if we do that in a healthy way, most women are gonna respond to that. Most wives will respond to that. We’re gonna be back right after this short break, and we’re gonna be sharing more on relationships on how we walk this out, right, and different relationships, not only in the family, but also in the workplace. And I believe this will help you in your Christian life. So if you need prayer, give us a call during the break. We’ll be right back. Hi friends, we’ve been teaching from the Book of Ephesians, and I’ve just written a new book from the Book of Ephesians that I’ve wanted to do for years, “Destined to Win,” breakthrough revelation from the Book of Ephesians. You’ll wanna get this book, and we’re gonna offer this book actually free to anyone who calls in and becomes a new partner this week. Blessings. It says, “Sun brass for 30, some 60, some a 100 fold.” I believe 100-fold ground. That’s the ground is talking about our heart. The word is talking about the seed. How many of you know the seed is consistent? The word is consistent, but our heart is what changes. In fact, your heart is producing a harvest. If you don’t like the harvest you’re getting, you gotta change the seed you’re allowing to remain in your heart. Friends, I’m so glad you stayed with us. We’re talking about where we walk out the gospel, and we walk out the gospel in relationships, right? And Paul begins here in Ephesians 5, talking about the home, husbands and wives. Because you know what, if you can’t live it out at home, it’s gonna be really hard to live it out in the world. And a lot of people, you know what we wanna do? We wanna preach to people in our family, and we wanna live the gospel in the world. What we really need to be doing is preaching the gospel to the world, and living it out before our family. And so he says some things here. He says, “We need to love our wives as Christ loved the church.” He says in verse 26 that, “He might sanctify and cleanse the church with the washing of the water by the word. That He might present her to Himself, a glorious church not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that the church should be holy and without blemish.” Now, what makes us holy without blemish?

Only Jesus.

Only Jesus, the blood of Jesus. Now, Aaron, what does verse 26 and 27 speak to you? What does that mean to you here in Ephesians chapter five?

Well, you know, I love that Paul here, when he is writing the Ephesians, is just comparing the husband and wife relationship to the relationship between the church and Jesus. You know, the church, the body of believers is the bride of Christ, you know?

Lawson Right.

Think about how much Jesus loves the church.

Lawson Right.

And I just love that he brings out that comparison. You know, and marriage, it’s really under attack.

Lawson Right.

And the enemy’s constantly attacking marriages. Maybe you’re married right now and it’s just under attack, you know, the enemy, right, really tries to attack marriages because it’s one of the most powerful unions where God can work through and just really build His kingdom.

Lawson Right.

So you know, going even back to Genesis, you know, one of the first thing, actually, the first thing that God gave Adam was Eve. He gave him a wife.

Right.

And it’s something that God has ordained. I like that word, ordained, too. You know, there’s certain ordinances in scripture, like water baptism is an ordinance-

Lawson Right.

Communion is an ordinance, also, marriage is an ordinance. It’s something that God has just-

Lawson Chosen.

Chosen-

Lawson Right.

For us as believers.

Lawson Mm-hmm.

So I love that Paul is bringing that comparison between the husband and wife and Jesus and His church.

Yeah, and he says, “When we love our wives like Christ loved the church.”

That’s what brings healing, that’s what brings that renewing to it, that’s right.

There’s a cleansing aspect.

And also, you know, your wife and also the husband, they’re not perfect. We are people, we have flaws, and we need to show grace and love to each other. And there needs to be healing that goes on.

Yeah.

And it’s a continual thing,

Right, and I think that’s where that highest kind of love as Christ loved the church. Christ loved the church, when the church was doing all the wrong things, right? Making all the wrong choices.

And again, you don’t just love your wife once a year. Say, “Well, it’s her birthday, I’m gonna love her, I’m gonna do something kind towards her. I’m gonna demonstrate this love once a year.” It’s a washing, it’s a renewing. You know, how often do you have to take a bath?

Right, every day.

Hopefully every day. So you need to be demonstrating love towards your wife on a daily basis.

Right. And then he says, “Love your wife as your own body.” To me, this means the husband ought to be the provider. And I believe, in most cases, the husband ought to be the provider. And I believe if we believe God, I heard this full gospel preach when I was just 14, and I started believing that I’d be able to provide well for my family. And I don’t think that that is wrong, I think that is scriptural. I don’t think it’s taught very many places. I don’t think it’s popular, but I think it is, yes.

Well, and it’s also practical, like, if you can’t provide for yourself or take care of yourself, then you’re not gonna be able to provide for other people.

Right, then he goes on, he says, “For no man hated his own flesh, but he nourishes it. He cares for it even as the Lord.” We need to care for our wives. You know, Peter says in 1 Peter 3-2, “Care for our wives as a weaker vessel,” right? We need to have a compassion for them, and a mercy towards them. He said, “For we are members of His body and His flesh, like Christ cares for us.” We’re members of Christ’s body. And I think, you know, when you treat your wife good, husbands, you’re doing yourself a favor. Like, somebody wrote a book years ago, “Husbands, Do Yourself A Favor: Love Your Wife,” that’s the gospel.

Aaron Mm-hmm.

That’s the truth, amen. So he goes on and says this, “For we’re members of His body, of His flesh, and of His bones. For this cause, a man will leave his father and mother, be joined to his wife, and they too will be one flesh.”

Aaron Mm-hmm.

Boy, my dad told me, “When you get married, you are separate with your wife from your families. You need to move a long ways away, get on your own.” And actually, my dad died when I was just 17 years old, and I got married then when I was 19. But it took us a few years before we moved a long way away, but it actually helped strengthen our marriage, when we got away from family and just worked together. You know, and a lot of people don’t have this goal, but mom and I have really worked at this goal, and we’ve been given the ability to do this. And I realize not everyone has this ability, but we work together to build life together. And it just works better when you build life together. And so-

You know, and in that 31st verse, right, he’s quoting from Genesis 2:24.

Right.

So again, he’s going back to the beginning-

Right.

When God made Adam, when he brought Adam Eve, and what He told them to do. And He said, “You’re gonna leave your father and mother and be joined to his wife. And the two shall become one flesh.” And this is before they were mothers and fathers.

Lawson Right.

But he knew there’d be multiple generations. There’s a generational blessing here, and you know, there’s a great oneness with this. And verse 32 says, “This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ in the church.” And again, he is going back to the bigger picture here. The bigger spiritual picture is that he’s talking about Christ in the church. There’s a oneness between Jesus and His body of believers.

And I believe that’s one reason the enemy fights the family, the marriage especially so much, is because he doesn’t want people to see a good picture of Christ in the church. But we can have good, strong marriages when we live by the word of God. Now, he says, “Nevertheless, let every one of you in verse 33, particularly love his wife even as himself.” Again, you honor your wife, you love your wife as yourself. Don’t be self-serving, right? You serve your wife, husbands. And he says, “And the wife see that she respect her husband.” You know, psychology says, “The greatest need in a woman is to be loved. The greatest need in a man is to be respected.” But the place a woman needs to get her sense of being loved from is from Jesus, because only Jesus can love you enough. And the place a man needs to get his self-worth from is his identity in Christ, who God says that we are in Christ. And we begin Ephesians with that. And when you understand that, then it enables you to live this. And that’s what he’s telling us. Now, he talks about children and parents. Aaron, go ahead and read the first four verses of Ephesians 6.

It says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise, that it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth. And you fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” You know, I actually did a series on honor recently with the youth here at church, and our youth range from ages 11 to 18. And I kind of told them how I view them. I don’t view them as children. We have a children’s ministry here, but they are no longer in the children’s ministry.

Lawson Right.

And I said, in the Jewish tradition, when you turn 13, you’re bar mitzvah, you become an adult. You become part of adult society. That means you contribute, you’re responsible-

Wow.

You’re being prepared for life-

Lawson Right.

At age 13. And I said, that’s how I view you guys. Even if you’re close to 13, I’m gonna start trying to equip you to succeed in life, to be responsible, to know what’s right, what’s wrong. And children need to obey their parents-

Lawson Right.

But at a certain age, you need to be able to obey God for yourself.

Lawson Right.

So I said, as students, you know, 13, 14, 15, as teenagers, you should be able to read the Bible, see what’s right, see what’s wrong, and do what’s right. You should be obeying God.

Amen.

And if you can’t obey God, then I’m gonna treat you like a little kid.

That’s probably good advice.

But I said that this next verse though, is really important. It says, “Honor your father and mother.” That applies to everyone, that applies to teenagers, to young adults, to me as an adult. And I said there’s a great promise to it.

Lawson Amen.

It’s the first commandment with promise. And the promise is that you’re gonna have a good life, and you’re gonna have a long life.

Lawson Amen.

And sometimes, those things that are promised that have great promises, it’s such a great promise because it’s not always an easy thing to do.

Lawson Amen.

It’s not always easy to honor your father and mother, but if you do it, then do it well, there’s a great promise attached to it. So that, yeah, importance of honor, that’s essential in life.

And Aaron, you had some youth in there that had been kind of ornery for a period of time.

Mm-hmm.

And you had heart with a couple of them. And man, they made amazing strides in a relatively short time.

Aaron Mm-hmm.

And I know this has happened with a few of them, but they’ve really turned the corner, and they’re moving in a positive way.

Yeah, you know, it’s a lifestyle of honor.

Amen.

You know, and it begins at home. That’s why Paul’s going to the home. You guys need to get this honor thing, this love thing, this respect thing down in the home.

Yes. And I’m gonna mention something right now. Your mom wrote a great book on child training, and your mom, Barbara, is a genius with children, and it shows in you and your brother’s lives. But “Imparting Success to the Next Generation,” you can get that amazon.com, you can get that at our website, and I encourage you to get that. You can also see her and I teaching that here in this setting, and those are available. You know, we’ve got hundreds of hours of teaching, downloadable audio, downloadable video, absolutely free of charge. And I’m telling you, I don’t believe that there’s anybody in the body of Christ currently teaching any better on the subject of training up children than your mom.

Well, and you see too, just in society as a whole, and even, you know, within families in the church, honor is very lacking.

Lawson Right.

You know, even basic respect is lacking. And honor goes beyond respect. Respect is giving to someone what they’re owed, it’s due. You pay them respect-

Lawson Right.

Because it’s owed to them.

Lawson Right.

Honor goes beyond that. It’s giving beyond what you think people are.

You and your wife, Aaron, demonstrate honor at a very high level. And there’s some aspects of the grace culture that they don’t understand the subject of honor, but you and Heather really demonstrate it. He said, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture, in the care, and teaching of the Lord.” I wanna say a great big thank you to each of you for staying in tune to the broadcast. I wanna encourage you to go to our website at CharisChristianCenter.com. If you need prayer, I wanna encourage you to give us a call today to receive prayer. And I wanna thank all of our partners, because it’s our partners that help us make these broadcasts available, and make all this free teaching, hundreds of hours, available to you on our website. Thank you, and God bless you today.

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