After celebrating nearly forty years of marriage I have discovered some very helpful advice for married couples right from the Bible. First point to understand; whose idea was marriage? In Genesis 2:18 it says, “And the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; ‘I will make a helper comparable to him.”

NOTICE MARRIAGE IS GOD’S IDEA. Adam was not seeking a spouse because he was lonely. Adam was completely fulfilled in his relationship with the LORD. To put that kind of pressure on another person of needing them to fulfill everything in you is not possible or reasonable. I didn’t seek a spouse to have them fulfill me or look to someone to supply all my needs. You need to marry someone who loves God more than you.

Second point: SERVE ONE ANOTHER AS UNTO THE LORD (Colossians 3:17-24). It is this particular passage in Colossians that set me free and gave me the ABILITY to wake up every morning with absolute JOY and PASSION to be excited about doing the same thing over and over again! What am I talking about? Early in our marriage, we began a family, a ministry, and our own business all at the same time. A lot of tasks regarding these three things have a lot of repetition involved. Meals needed to be planned and cooked every day; plus snacks. The house was in need of constant attention and cleaning. Cows needed to be fed every day. Diapers needed to be changed ALL DAY LONG, etc . . . When I read, “And whatever YOU DO in word or deed, DO IT ALL IN THE NAME OF THE LORD JESUS, GIVING THANKS to the Lord.” Colossians 3:17. Then in verses 23-24 it says, “And whatever you do, do it HEARTILY, AS TO THE LORD and not to men. Knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ.” In other words, SERVE ONE ANOTHER as if you were doing it to the LORD! I thought to myself I can do all these daily tasks gladly with patience and joy because ultimately, I’m doing it for Him!

Third point: Respect One Another. It is in Ephesians 5:21-33 that spells things out clearly for wives and husbands. It is in Ephesians 5:21 that tells us, “Submitting to one another.” Or you could say, “Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another.” Because of our love for Christ, we are to be nice to each other. A lot of times folks will be patient and kind with everyone else, except their own spouse. Let’s start with being patient, kind and courteous in our homes first! You could say, don’t just give your spouse and children your leftovers of your time and energy.

We have all heard that opposites attract. You have to remember that “difference” is what was attractive when you were dating. What do I mean? We need to REMEMBER to respect our spouses gifting, anointing and callings in their life and be supportive. In Ephesians 3:22 it tells the wife, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” Wives are to understand and support their husband in ways that show support for Christ. In Ephesians 5:25 it says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.” Another translation says, “Husbands, GO ALL OUT IN YOUR LOVE for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church – a love marked by giving not getting.” Ultimately, in marriage we are to serve one another as unto the Lord. Marriage is about giving, not getting. When the giving stops, the marriage stops.

With God’s help, strive to out give the other!